Year Fifty: Place in this world

I was a teenager going through my own identity development when Michael W Smith released his seminal hit "Place in this World". Like a lot of people my age, I identified with the lyrics: a search for significance, identity, and for direction. This song is a heartfelt prayer for the Author of life himself to fill the pages.

The wind is moving,
but I am standing still,
a life of pages
waiting to be filled...

I look back on that season as one of the most fruitful times of my life when I was walking with the Lord as I have never done since. Little did I know all of the changes ahead for me as my family would leave our comfortable life in Southeast Arkansas and how a sports injury would leave me paralyzed the rest of my life.

Many days I find myself looking for my place in this world and questioning my choices, but rarely do I question the one who created me and his desire for me to have an abundant life and look to him, following him, and trusting him to fill the pages still.

Year Fifty: Day Two "All You Can Do Is All You Can Do"

We have a few core values. Among them is "all you can do is all you can do". This value is important because it applies to any of us as well to each of us. At any moment any one of us can be hard of ourselves and expect more than we can actually do. Likewise we can be hard on others and expect more of them and they are capable.

That's why we remind ourselves that all you can do is all you can do. It allows us to operate in grace as we live out this messy life. We have had to roll with the waves so often it sometimes feels like a perpetual wave pool. Given all of this we choose to give each other breaks as we make our home a safe and joyful place. 

Year Fifty: Day One

It's happened! I'm facing middle age. As a husband, father, and all the rest, I sit here pondering the year ahead and what it means: Who am I? What have I achieved? What will I do with the rest of this life?

First of all, I am GRATEFUL!

Imagine this guy 30 years ago recovering from a paralyzing injury and starting life on his own. He was idealistic and naive. That's only because he was surrounded by a family and community who loved and supported him. Without their provision, encouragement, and care I would not be the man I am today. My naiveté sure got me into trouble and led me astray. It was an innocent time and most of us would probably admit to having some misadventures in our youth. The countless people who have contributed to my life are forever appreciated.

The rest I will explore as I journal this journey.

Pastor Appreciation: Randy Elrod

For pastor appreciation month, I gotta give a shout out to "Pastor Randy" -- that's how I met him. Back in Largo, Florida, Randy was creative arts / praise and worship / music / whatever his title was for the season pastor. He refused to be put in a box. Randy was professional, hard-working and genuine.

R was just coming into the season of spreading his wings beyond accepted norms. He pursued life with passion and took some of us along for the ride. He started living life on the "bleeding edge" and took some cuts in that time.

When he got the opportunity of a music pastor's life -- People's Church in Nashville, Tenn. -- we were sad to see him go. Randy had outgrown his fish bowl. After moving to N'ville R really blew off his fetters. He pursued his passions and lived a scary and dynamic life for what the LORD laid on his heart.

But, in all of that, I remember the friend who went with us to watch an R movie when it wasn't allowed; who held my parents' hands as they waited for their paralyzed son to fly back to the States; who took me cruisin' in his Z; who shared Sunday lunch with his family with me; who cooked us homemade pasta when I visited N'ville on the way to DC.

Randy, you've touched so many peoples' lives, including mine.

Islam, Iran, and the World

This morning I took a little time to read from http://quran.com to get some perspective on the news and world events. Listening to stories on Qur'an burning, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and the dispute over Israel. You might think it's crazy, but the Islam scripture is not that different from reading the Bible. If you know your Old and New Testament, you can follow along pretty well. Some of it reads like commentary from pastors I've heard on TV. Throw in a newspaper and a world map (like http://maps.google.com ) and you get some interesting perspective on current events.

Back to my title, I was interested that the Qur'an goes in depth to lay out the covenant the LORD made with his people through Abraham, Moses, and Jesus to make them righteous and their consistent rejection of the agreement. The text in Surah 2.62 even clarifies that anyone -- Jew, Christian, or Muslim -- who truly seeks to live a right life before the LORD will inherit Paradise at the Resurrection of the Dead. It seems to me this can help us come from a good starting point to share our perspectives. Indeed, Jesus even said, "there will be a time when it doesn't matter what city you worship in, but God desires people who worship him in spirit and in truth." The committed Jew, Christian and Muslim have a lot in common.

When I looked up Jerusalem and Mecca on the map, I panned out to see the region. Jerusalem is on the western end of the Middle East (with Egypt as a Afro-Eastern nation); Mecca, in Saudi Arabia, is to the south; Pakistan is to the east; and Iran is in the bulls-eye. Flanking Iran are Iraq and Afghanistan (with Pakistan to the southeast). To its north are the former Soviet states.

Now, the role Iran plays in the region is clear to me. Far from being a rogue player in world affairs, Iran is central to the stability of relationships in the Middle East. This center of Muslim and Arabic/Persian culture is stable and established. While they have policies and practices Europeans find backwards, they serve as a heavy influence on the three nations where the United States has our money and military invested: Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. In the wake of the World Trade Center attack, Ahmadinejad offered his support. We gave him the cold shoulder, alienated him politically, and took out his biggest regional opponent anyway -- Saddam Hussein. With nowhere to go, the Iranian leader became more entrenched and isolated, working to accomplish regional stability as he knew. His government worked in the region with religious leaders and organizations with militias to establish a distinctly Muslim footprint in the region that the U.S. has been trying to westernize.

So, the U.S. took this fight to Iran. We put their leader in a corner and despised his partnership. It is a scary reminder of the Cold War with the Communists. This one has deeply religious undertones that appeal to extremists on all sides. We have mixed guns and God, entering a holy war that was not of our making. The zealots who wanted to bring in a reign of terror and usher in the last days have instigated the nations to senseless conflict. Until the U.S. takes a more humble position and respects the interests of all people in the region -- despite distinct differences -- we will not see the stability we desire. Iran, the Taliban, and other regional players who truly have vested interests in the outcome of a post-coalition Middle East have to be given a seat at the table in the light of day where we acknowledge and work with each other, If the U.S. can work with Pakistan and Mahmoud Abbas, we can work with these others in the interests of our common interest.

College: Almost done!

I'm putting the wraps on my college program at Kaplan online. For about two years I've been studying website animation for interactivity in the online degree program. While I'm not planning on being a games developer, I've learned a lot from my courses on developing solutions and managing projects.

As I get going along now, I'll be looking for a good job to open my career path. With a background in Psychology and some experience building and maintaining websites, I just need to build a good resumé and portfolio, then APPLY.

So much thanks to Dana for putting up with my focus on school projects the last few months. It has been an investment in our future that we will see pay off over the next few years.

I joke that with a Psychology degree I was on par with every football player out of college. Now, I think my resumé will stand out a little more.

Chasing Lions in 2010

Each winter I pull back and decide on a theme for the upcoming year. As I pondered my new challenges, opportunities and responsibilities I really felt I needed to go after challenges I had ignored for months or years. Dana recommended our pastor's book In A Pit with A Lion on A Snowy Day because it is about this same idea. The book delves into the short story of Benaiah in 2 Samuel 8 who chased a lion into a pit and killed it. This and other courageous acts got Ben a place of honor in the king's service.

Inspired by this story, my wife's example of determination, my dad's challenges, and my own yet-to-be-realized and missed opportunities, I am determined to live 2010 Chasing Lions.

Awake Autumn!

Of the things I've dreaded moving to D.C. (and there are few) the cold is the most intimidating. I thought the crowds would get me, but people actually flow pretty well. Sitting in traffic isn't nearly as stressful with the woman I love beside me. The metro has been surprisingly accessible. The dogs get along great. So, back to that cold weather.

I'm thinking 17 years in the sunbelt has thawed my blood too thin for the cold, then a cool snap hits. Don't get me wrong, I know 40s and 50s sounds cozy to some folks right now, but the cold has slowed me down several times. I dreaded the cold, but being outside today has been nice. There's something about summer that just makes me lethargic. Autumn wakes me up. Maybe it's the colors on the Sunday drive to church. Maybe it's the cool air that bites a little when I get out. Maybe it's this transition into a new life.

Looking for Patriotism

This week National Public Radio reported on Somali-Americans recruited into terrorism. It got me thinking why these kids whose parents had gotten an opportunity in the States to start a new life would be compelled to go back to Somalia and fight Jihad. Following up I considered the likes of Louis Farrakhan and Al Sharpton, popular culture's references to anti-American sentiments, and partisan attacks; all of these are symptoms of the unraveling of our American identity.

Patriots are not ignorant, flag-waving yes-men blindly following selfish old white men who think they know better than everyone. This is the image of a patriot protesters of the '60s and'70s retalliated against. McCarthyism, Jim Crow, the war machine, and Wall Street big shots were the face of America in that era. So many were so very frustrated they rebelled. Consider these lyrics from a popular song:

Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, they're red, white and blue.
And when the band plays "Hail to the chief",
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord,
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senator's son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no,
Yeah!
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, don't they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes,
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's son, no.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no.
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord,
And when you ask them, "How much should we give?"
Ooh, they only answer More! more! more! yoh,
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no military son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, one.
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, no no no,
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate son, no no no,
Creedence Clearwater Revival, "Fortunate Son"

There is a sad situation, then, where, as John Edwards put it, we have "two Americas." This stratification and sense of injustice and animosity threatens to tear our country apart. Like sectarian violence in the Middle East and immigrant anti-nationalism in Europe, this disparity among Americans is tearing us apart.

Patriotism is the answer. What brings us to the table should be our sense of national identity and the shared values and responsibilities we as Americans have. We will always have economic disparity. We will always have bigotry. We will always have disagreements. We will always have poverty, hunger, crime, favoritism. As Americans we can wrestle through these things without ripping our nation apart.

When someone says, "I'm embarrassed to be an American," or "they are un-American," or even hopes for the destruction of our nation and our neighbors they are chipping away at the integrity of our national identity. The Stars and Stripes, our Constitution, our government, and our national heritage are symbols of our country's greatness. Its values are greater than our differences. Its institutions are greater than partisan manipulation. Alexis de Toqueville is aattributed as saying,

America is great because she is good.
When she ceases to be good, she will no longer be great.

May we never lose that sense of goodness and belief in a good America.

full plate

The past weeks have been consuming. Yeah, consuming, like take a big plate, fill it with lots of food, and eat it all. I'm not complaining. It's just different for me to have so much to do. The past few years have been fairly easy. Nothing really pressing. Coasting along has been pleasant.

With the full plate I'm worn out, my fuse is short, and my memory overwhelmed. The theme for 2009 is balance and these big life events have put that to the test. Several years ago my boss introduced me to Steven Covey's Seven Habits. There are many good habits he points out and principles to apply to everyday problems (my paraphrase):

• get off your duff and do something
• get your priorities straight
• think it through before you start
• think of others first
• handle conflict well
• work together off each others' strengths
• stay healthy

When there is so much to do I forget these habits. Okay, I just get lazy. It's easier to look like I have it together than to keep it together. So, time for the absurd analogy. When the plate is full I want to eat it all. But I can enjoy eating all I can at a nice pace while visiting with my dinner companions. Then, I can take left-overs home to enjoy later or leave the rest. Just because It is on my plate does not mean I have to shovel it all down right now.