Chasing Lions in 2010

Each winter I pull back and decide on a theme for the upcoming year. As I pondered my new challenges, opportunities and responsibilities I really felt I needed to go after challenges I had ignored for months or years. Dana recommended our pastor's book In A Pit with A Lion on A Snowy Day because it is about this same idea. The book delves into the short story of Benaiah in 2 Samuel 8 who chased a lion into a pit and killed it. This and other courageous acts got Ben a place of honor in the king's service.

Inspired by this story, my wife's example of determination, my dad's challenges, and my own yet-to-be-realized and missed opportunities, I am determined to live 2010 Chasing Lions.

Tuning Out and Tuning In

Yesterday a neighbor reminded me of an important lesson: to hear the voice of God we have to get very quiet and very alone.

It has not been that way for me lately. I am an information junkie. With my lap top computer connected wirelessly to the internet I can receive and send information all day any day. It is convenient.

Perhaps that convenience is part of my current problem. You see, there is a lot going on right now and I should be really focused on discerning how to accomplish the things ahead. Most days I find myself overwhelmed. So, when overwhelmed I escape. And with my computer and the world wide web at my finger tips I can lose myself in a game, book, videos, or countless other distractions right there. After these distractions I rarely find myself fulfilled. Rather, I am more often disappointed that I am even further behind.

Here is the place for discipline. Francis Bacon said

If money be not thy servant,
it will be thy master

For me, my computer, TV or just mindless conversation can take over and monopolize my time. Even if I know there is something pressing I ought to do and really desire to do it, I often slip into time-wasting habits. Discipline -- teaching my self to do the right thing -- is so very important. When I get ready to go to a time-waster is when I am going to go to something that helps me tune in to that voice these distractions often tune out. Some things that help me tune in are

• taking a stroll
• writing notes
• prayer and meditation
• exercise
• power nap

I'm not giving up my computer. No, it is the primary tool for me to get work done! But when I am drawn to use it for distractions rather than production it becomes my "master". So, I am tuning out the distractions of instant information and entertainment and tuning in to those practices that get me closer to the answers I need in this time of transition.

Spectacular New Year

It's 2008 my friends!

Each year I choose a theme. It's not a resolution, but an overarching concept for the upcoming year. Some years have been more memorable than others. Thinking I'll get the idea down by the end of each year is sometimes a lofty goal.

Last year's theme was "No Regrets." So, even though I made mistakes I learned to learn from them. There were several things I took some initiative on so I wouldn't regret passing them up. By the year's end I have a wonderful girlfriend, serving in my church's kids ministry, learned a whole web programming language (okay, it's bigger than it sounds), and started my own business.

This year's theme is "Be Spectacular." I'm excited to learn to do things in an amazing way that stands out and appeals to the senses. God has given me a strong foundation for a truly outstanding year and I look forward to the opportunities ahead.

Thanks for coming along.

Asking All the Wrong Questions

When I was a kid I had life all figured out. I'd finish grad school in Alabama with a degree in Architecture or Psychology (I couldn't decide between the two), get married, and have my family and career by the time I was thirty. Life looks different on this side of thirty. I have accomplished none of the things on this list.

This June I took a look over the last ten years to find where I got off track. Some things I realized were beyond my control: being paralyzed from a sports injury was not planned, but it didn't necessarily keep me from achieving any of those goals. Some things were steps I took knowing the risk: going into my first job instead of finishing grad school and moving to Texas were decisions that limited my options to achieve my goals. Then there were things I foolishly did to get myself even more off-track: accumulating debt and ignoring great opportunities and relationships.

It all got pretty depressing. I asked myself and God why I got stuck, why I hadn't seen things come together I had risked so much for, and what I needed to do to make it all right. Considering my life up till now, I wondered what it would be like to commit myself to doing something whole-heartedly for the next five years. Five seemed like good, round number; it fits my planner and works as a good benchmark. After consideration, the choice was made: I'll earn my Master's in Education so I can work anywhere in the nation and earn a real salary. The hours and benefits would be great and I'd be working with kids -- something I really enjoy. It made sense vocationally, financially, and spiritually (in a oh, I can really minister to these kids kind of way).

Then a friend recommended John Edlredge's book Journey of Desire. The title scared me: Desire? I know I lack drive and blind ambition. You may find me enthusiastic and creative, but not driven. Desire seemed distant, but I figured I was ready to give it a go. Into the book, I realized I was making big decisions based on the wrong questions. The things I desired -- a job I could enjoy, financial security, and a degree in a field I could always fall back on -- began to pale in light of what the LORD was pressing on my heart. I knew inside the deeper desires in my heart for accomplishment, security, and useful ministry can only be filled on the other side of eternity when I am in God's kingdom.

The questions that emerge are no longer geared toward my own financial security and fulfillment and cleaning up my messes on my own. Any job can never do all of that, only the LORD. As I hold these other things at arm's length He uses opportunities in my life to provide. It is not my job that provides my income, but God who provides; not the kids who affirm my work, but Him who will say "well done"; not my degree that promotes me, but the LORD. He may use these things to provide blessings here and now, but I do not rely on or look to these things to do what only God can do in his time.